"It's scary to pray boldly for change or freedom from sin, because if nothing happens, then doesn't that mean God failed? Doesn't that mean His Spirit isn't all we've been told He is?
I think the fear of God failing us leads us to "cover for God." This means we ask for less, expect less, and are satisfied with less because we are afraid to ask for or expect more. We even convince ourselves that we don't want more--that we have all the "God" we need or could want." (Chan 47)
My wife and I struggled with this for 15 long months. We had felt that it was time for us to start our family and began trying in July of 2009. One would think that simply because you’re trying to have a baby that getting pregnant is an easy thing. To make a long story short we are now expecting and are due in early June of 2011.
There were several times during the 15 months that I felt scared to ask God to get my wife pregnant. I was scared because like Francis says…would that meant God failed? I mean I was asking and pleading with God to help my wife get pregnant, but did I fully expect Him to do it or did I hold back a little because I didn’t want to be disappointed if God didn’t come through?
I also experienced praying boldly for change when I was interviewing for the current position I am in at the church. I felt like this was definitely something that God was calling me to and I was seeking Him and guidance from Him more than I ever had before. I remember thinking that I was asking God so much for this position that I knew if I didn’t get it that I was going to be disappointed in not only myself, but in God. I remember waiting a few days and I had convinced myself that I hadn’t got the job. That Brooklyn and Rick had selected someone else for the position that was better qualified than I was. A crazy thing happened though…the day that I woke up and was able to pray to God that it was okay if He didn’t bless me with the opportunity to work at the church and that I would still seek Him regardless…I got the call offering me the job.
It’s a humbling experience to know that the Holy Spirit is all that we’ve been told He is and that He cares. He wants to give us the desires of our hearts and to bless us with opportunities.